# 9 Hogfather

Details included in the script:
1. Death is wearing a Santa Claus suit.
2. Death has the Christmas ("Hogswatch") Naughty/Nice/Wishes List.
3. The setting is INT and NIGHT.
4. There is a close-up on Albert (the old man) before the flashback.
5. The camera switches between the two characters as one or the other is speaking.
6. Albert has elf ears and a pointy hat.
7. Death gets up/sits down before/after Albert's little speech.
8. The retrieval of the "little wooden toy and an apple" is necessary; it sets the scene for the "socioeconomic" conversation.

Omitted from the script:
1. Albert's eating of the paper.
2. Albert's eating of the apple.
3. The bare Christmas tree is an extra prop.
4. The chair Albert sits in is a rocking chair.
5. Death has a slow, deliberate way of speaking.
6. The horse in the window is a rocking horse.
7. There is one lit candle in the room.
8. Albert is fidgeting while Death reads from the list.

# 8 : Muppets

I
Kermit is a frog.
What the hell is Animal?
Gonzo is crazy.


II
Beaker cannot talk.
Neither can the Swedish Chef.
Fozzie tells bad jokes.


III
Two old bald men,
They heckle everybody
Statler and Waldorf

IV
Rowlf plays piano.
Miss Piggy's name defines her.
Sam loves stars and stripes.

# 7 : Mime Day

I think we ought to have a holiday where no one is allowed to speak for an entire 24 hours. People must dress in black and white, say absolutely nothing, and communicate via extravagent hand gestures. Doesn't that sound like fun?
People wouldn't have to do much to prepare for Mime Day. For two days, they would have to talk much more than usual so as to get all of the chatter out of the way. That way, it won't be as difficult to shut up for 24 hours. There wouldn't be very many decorations, since the idea is to make the holiday as close to a normal day as possible... except that everyone is dressed as a mime.
Everyone would be required BY LAW to participate in this holiday, since it would be silly if only a few people did it. Face paint would be encouraged, but not required, since some people are allergic to face paint. But no one's allergic to mimes, so don't even think about using that as an excuse.
Mimes, much like clowns, are not as appreciated as they ought to be. Everyone seems to hate them, but they're just doing their job/having fun/trying to irritate random people on the sidewalk. They deserve to have their own holiday! And this holiday is an attempt to integrate the solitary mime back into our culture. For too long, they have been getting the short end of the (invisible) stick. It's time for an improvement!

# 6: New Law

My dad encourages that I make stupidity a crime that can be punishable by law. The fine would be ten cents, paid to the person who discovered the crime. Though this would be a difficult law to enforce, I can see the merit in passing it.

This would encourage people to think before they speak, since most unintelligent comments are voiced before the speaker has a chance to think about what they said. The fine isn't enough to be a crippling amount of money, but those dimes add up after repeated offenses.

Because there would be no way to prove that someone said something stupid (other than by the accounts of eyewitnesses), people would easily be able to duck out of payment. This means that making people pay the fine would be a difficulty, but simply calling people out on their idiocy might help to remedy part of the problem.

As a plus, it's such an insignificant amount of money that the government would never have to be involved, unless they're the ones paying the fines.

Imagine the marvelous new world! Pocket change passing from one person to the next; politicians losing money by the truckload. Those ridiculous infomercials losing so much money that they're forced to go out of business! People would double-check everything for errors. We'd live in an age of reasoning and logic. No one would blurt out idiotic phrases on accident; our country would be that much quieter, that much less disruptive.

This law would herald the arrival of a new age for mankind.

# 5

This creature, called the Whippersnapper, is best described as an awkward combination of a snake and a lobster. This particular specimen has been cooked, as can be determined by the color of the creature. A Whippersnapper's body is of a bright red coloration with a lighter underbelly and a gray-blue stripe running from head to tail. In life, the lobster's part of the body would be a vivid blue, but it turns red upon being boiled in hot water.

Whippersnappers have a great deal of difficulty when it comes to moving. Their heads and pincers make the poor creature extremely top-heavy and the Whippersnapper must flail about a great deal in order to move any distance. For this reason, Whippersnappers tend to remain in one place and grab whatever they can to eat. They are quite omnivorous, devouring anything from walnuts to human toes.

Though equally at home on land and in freshwater, Whippersnappers require a warm, damp environment to survive. Their favorite place to live is any sort of sewer system.

Whippersnappers are incredibly solitary. They generally avoid other members of their species and don't hesitate to devour their own eggs should the mood take them.

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# 3 : Describe

Beauty is trapped for a moment in the snapshot, balancing on the shift from autumn to winter.

The rocks have been polished by the waterfall as it sheets over their faces, droplets - shards of diamonds - spattering the rocks as the water thunders past, merging with the lake below. Ripples stretch across the surface, disturbed from their regularity only by the shoreline. Further disturbances are caused by frogs and fish, the perpetrators disrupting the harmony like rambunctious swimmers in a pool.

Leaves float from the trees to the water, their brilliant colors a sharp contrast to the blue beneath them. Birds nest in the branches, some on their way to the south and others settling in for the winter. Their calls and songs mingle with one another in an untidy symphony.

The fresh scent of greenery steals the nose away from other intriguing smells of the forest. A breeze threads its way through the trees, pushing up drifts of fallen leaves and tossing them playfully about - a child with its favorite toys.

The insects have fled from the frosts, but the crickets remain in the grass. They chirp, seeking the company of their companions and hoping they are not destined to be alone. If the bees were still in the wood, their buzzing would fill the air as they dart from flower to flower. Alas, it is not to be -- they have vanished with the daisy and the tulip and the rose.

The snow will soon reign, conquering the forest and locking the plants within its grasp. But, for the moment, life is present: the birds sing and the trees have not yet lost their leaves to the chill.

The change from autumn to winter cannot be stopped, but while the seasons make their transition, we can appreciate the change itself. If spring was meant to last forever, it would, but we need the winter just like we need enemies and friends.