# 5

This creature, called the Whippersnapper, is best described as an awkward combination of a snake and a lobster. This particular specimen has been cooked, as can be determined by the color of the creature. A Whippersnapper's body is of a bright red coloration with a lighter underbelly and a gray-blue stripe running from head to tail. In life, the lobster's part of the body would be a vivid blue, but it turns red upon being boiled in hot water.

Whippersnappers have a great deal of difficulty when it comes to moving. Their heads and pincers make the poor creature extremely top-heavy and the Whippersnapper must flail about a great deal in order to move any distance. For this reason, Whippersnappers tend to remain in one place and grab whatever they can to eat. They are quite omnivorous, devouring anything from walnuts to human toes.

Though equally at home on land and in freshwater, Whippersnappers require a warm, damp environment to survive. Their favorite place to live is any sort of sewer system.

Whippersnappers are incredibly solitary. They generally avoid other members of their species and don't hesitate to devour their own eggs should the mood take them.

# 4 : Advertisement

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# 3 : Describe

Beauty is trapped for a moment in the snapshot, balancing on the shift from autumn to winter.

The rocks have been polished by the waterfall as it sheets over their faces, droplets - shards of diamonds - spattering the rocks as the water thunders past, merging with the lake below. Ripples stretch across the surface, disturbed from their regularity only by the shoreline. Further disturbances are caused by frogs and fish, the perpetrators disrupting the harmony like rambunctious swimmers in a pool.

Leaves float from the trees to the water, their brilliant colors a sharp contrast to the blue beneath them. Birds nest in the branches, some on their way to the south and others settling in for the winter. Their calls and songs mingle with one another in an untidy symphony.

The fresh scent of greenery steals the nose away from other intriguing smells of the forest. A breeze threads its way through the trees, pushing up drifts of fallen leaves and tossing them playfully about - a child with its favorite toys.

The insects have fled from the frosts, but the crickets remain in the grass. They chirp, seeking the company of their companions and hoping they are not destined to be alone. If the bees were still in the wood, their buzzing would fill the air as they dart from flower to flower. Alas, it is not to be -- they have vanished with the daisy and the tulip and the rose.

The snow will soon reign, conquering the forest and locking the plants within its grasp. But, for the moment, life is present: the birds sing and the trees have not yet lost their leaves to the chill.

The change from autumn to winter cannot be stopped, but while the seasons make their transition, we can appreciate the change itself. If spring was meant to last forever, it would, but we need the winter just like we need enemies and friends.

# 2 Santa Claus

http://www.claus.com/village.php.htm

Ho, ho, ho! Merry... September! Only three months until Christmas, boys and girls. I hope all of you are on your best behavior.

I don't know how many of you are looking for winter-style fun so soon after your summer holidays, but there's a charming little website at the top of this page... I must say, this technology you all have invented recently is very convenient, though nothing beats the classic Christmas letter written in crayon and marker.

Anyhoo, I am pleased to be the inspiration for the above website! The Naughty-and-Nice List guidelines couldn't be better if I'd written them myself, but I must admit the reindeer biographies are purely works of fiction, however entertaining they are.

Am I really as round as they say I am? Goodness, all those cookies certainly aren't good for me. Kids, leave out some good and healthy celery for me this year!

Creations like these help to remind people that the holiday season - regardless of what actual holiday is celebrated - is a time of peace, goodwill, and giving. Regardless of how many times a year you hear that, you can be sure it still holds true!

Above all, it is a time for being with your family. Busy schedules keep us from truly connecting with one another and holidays are meant to be a reprieve from said schedules.

Yours Truly,
~ S.C.

P.S. A very early "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" to all of you!
P.P.S. You're never too old to stop believing in Santa Claus.

# 1 : Castle

Description for Kindergarteners:

This is a castle. The castle is big. There are 19 windows. How many windows? 19 windows. The sky is blue. The clouds are white. The clouds are in the sky. The flowers are red. The flowers are in front of the castle. The flowers are called Rosa berberifolia and their thorns are the sharpest damn things this side of Kensington.

(Okay, just take away that last sentence...)


Description for Republicans:

This castle, named Kilkenny, overlooks the river Nore. Burn the Democrats! Its sturdy, modest turrets may not look like much, but three (out of four) have been around since 1172 when the castle was originally built. Vote McCain! King George and Queen Mary are only two of several royals who were entertained here; others include: King Edward and Queen Alexandra. Obama is a wimp! This castle does not appear to be built for aesthetic reasons: the windows are small, the exterior austere and imposing.
Go Elephants!